What Fundraisers Can Learn From A Desantis Email

As I was emptying my junk email file, an email from the Ron Desantis campaign caught my eye. From a strategy perspective, it is horrible. The writer of the email makes the same mistakes so many fundraisers make.

1. He makes himself the hero;

Before you post or send out your content, give it the "YOU TEST." In the post Do Your Donor Communications Pass the "YOU" Test? Melissa Signorelli says it like this:

“You” and its variations (you’d, you’ll, you’re, your, yours, yourself, and you’ve) are like flytraps for your readers, calling out to them and making them pay attention to what you’re saying.

Ideally, you want to use "you" words twice as many times as "we" words. I circled all the "you" instances in green and the "we" instances in red. Uhm... this email is a total fail with only three "you" instances. If your content follows the strategy of this email, it will be ignored, sorry Ron!

I address this in Chapter 4 of Visionary Fundraising, THE #1 TOOL FOR VISIONARIES: STORYTELLING.

2. It is written at the 10th grade level.

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